Chapter 20 - Anna Goes Back to Work
My first shift back at the emergency department began at 6:45 a.m.
I cried in the parking lot.
Not because I hated work.
I loved being a nurse.
I cried because Nora had smiled at me that morning while I buttoned my scrub top, and leaving her felt like somebody had reached inside my chest and pulled.
Nick had taken the day off.
He stood beside my car holding her.
“You can call whenever you want.”
“I know.”
“I wrote down the feeding schedule.”
“I wrote the feeding schedule.”
“Right.”
“And the bottles?”
“Labeled.”
“Diapers?”
“Changing table.”
“Emergency numbers?”
“On the fridge.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Safe sleep?”
“Flat on her back, empty crib, fitted sheet only.”
“Temperature?”
“Pediatrician if fever reaches one hundred point four.”
I exhaled.
Nick smiled.
“I’ve got her.”
Those three words nearly destroyed me.
Once, I would have laughed.
Now they meant something.
At work, every hour felt wrong.
At lunch, I video-called.
Nick answered wearing a burp cloth over his shoulder.
Nora slept against his chest.
“You okay?” I whispered.
“We’re thriving.”
“You look terrible.”
“She has rejected sleep as a capitalist invention.”
I laughed loudly enough that another nurse turned.
For twelve hours, Nick sent no unnecessary messages.
No emergencies.
No helpless questions.
When I returned home, the kitchen was clean.
Laundry was folded badly but enthusiastically.
Nora was asleep.
Dinner waited beneath foil.
I stood in the doorway.
Nick looked nervous.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Why are you staring?”
“Because this is what partnership was supposed to look like.”
His expression changed.
“Anna.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t ruin it with a speech.”
He nodded.
“Yes, ma’am.”
For the next month, we developed a rhythm.
I worked three twelve-hour shifts.
Nick handled mornings.
Elaine watched Nora twice a week.
Arthur pretended he was too tough for baby talk while spending twenty minutes making ridiculous noises at her.
Tara visited with Samuel.
Our kitchen became crowded.
Messy.
Alive.
Then one evening, I opened my email and saw a message from a hospital administrator.
A supervisory position had opened in emergency services.
Assistant nurse manager.
Better salary.
Mostly daytime hours.
I had been recommended.
Before everything collapsed, I would have declined immediately.
Management meant risk.
Change.
And Nick’s income had always been unpredictable.
But now?
I applied.
When I told him, his face lit up.
“You’d be incredible.”
“You don’t think the schedule would be difficult?”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“No concern about me earning more than you?”
The question slipped out.
Nick went still.
Old Nick would have been offended.
New Nick nodded slowly.
“I deserve that question.”
I regretted it immediately.
But he continued.
“The answer is no.”
“You sure?”
“No.”
I stared.
He smiled weakly.
“I’m not sure my ego will never whisper stupid things again. I’m sure I know what to do when it does.”
“What?”
“Tell it to shut up.”
I laughed.
Then he became serious.
“Anna, I spent years treating your success like evidence that I was failing.”
He took my hand.
“It was evidence that I married someone remarkable.”
Two weeks later, I got the promotion.
The salary increase was substantial.
I came home with celebratory cupcakes.
Nick opened sparkling cider.
Arthur gave a toast.
“To Anna.”
Elaine corrected him.
“Manager Anna.”
Everyone cheered.
I looked around the table.
At Nora.
At Samuel.
At Tara.
At the man who had once stolen from my closet because my strength made him insecure.
Nick raised his glass highest.
May you like
And for the first time, my success did not threaten my marriage.
It strengthened the person I was becoming.
